Finding You: Self-Care Beyond the Spa

Christmas is coming, are you ready? Are you busy, stressed out, tired, excited, already counting the calories?

I’ve been thinking quite a bit about self care and what it really is. I quite enjoy a good spa day and have been privileged to have a few this year alone with and without friends. I love getting my nails done and having my toes done regularly. I’ve tried to be mindful of rest days where I made no apologies for the lounge wear or the pj’s of choice to do the day’s living in. I’ve been doing some Pilates and breathing deeper just because I can, but also because I need to.

When’s the last time you took a good deep breath instead of the shallow ones we exist on as we go about our various routines? My voice teacher called me out on it a while back and then my therapist told me to stop and take a breath before I even said a word. I took one and then another and then burst into tears. It was more than just a breath, it was a full moment without judgment or stress and my whole body relaxed, for free.

You know when you wear a wonderful red lipstick, but it doesn’t have the staying power of a true matte lipstick so you eat with the fork barely touching your lips or you give more air kisses than usual and your mindful of your garments when putting on your outerwear? That isn’t real living or a good way to enjoy your lipstick. Being tired all of the time, even if you look good doing it isn’t real living. And spa days and the occasional matte lippy are just management tools to help us take occasional breaths. But what if we did self care the right way? What would that look like for you. Hey, there’s no judgment here, I’m still trying to answer this for myself. So let me be vulnerable and share what’s on my list so far:

First, I start with a healthy spiritual rhythm of prayer and devotion to God who sustains all things and good mental practices of recognizing thought patterns and addressing them when they happen. I like to include musical worship and reading too.

Next is one we all know and don’t always love, but it’s doing the hard things regularly so they become habits that aren’t so hard anymore, like doing scales at the piano, exercising regularly, and eating all of my greens 🙄. It’s discipline that creates the care, like using your toothbrush on your lips after you brush to exfoliate. Soft lips need care too.

One of my big realizations over the last few years is recognizing how much I need both alone time and people time. A lot of people think I’m an extrovert, but I’m actually an ambivert, needing both solace and interaction. The interaction with my loved ones and chosen family is a blessing to me and gives me so much energy to keep going. I have communities where people can come and speak into my life or allow me to do that for them. I actually go into withdrawal when I haven’t seen or spoken to certain people for a while. I value their input into my life and returning some of that love is something I want to treasure.

Lastly, I need vitamin D. It’s not just for. strong bones or whatever the medical books say, it’s for my happy thoughts and for my lack of sunshine here in Toronto in the Winter months. As some of my previous posts have shown, I love a sunny vacation where I can completely unwind on a beach. Like a sunflower, I turn my face and body toward the sun’s rays and soak them in. Unfortunately, this temporary method of self care is too expensive to have every day, so I try my best to thoroughly enjoy the Summer months and I take my Vitamin D in excessive dosages.

What’s on your self care list and do you know the difference between management and care? I would much rather maintain a practice of care than just manage from day to day. As the holidays approach, or maybe as I get older, or maybe both-I feel the need to be mindful of me in ways that aren’t selfish but will help me say a better yes to something or someone else if I am well cared for. I will have more to give, more peace to live from, and more joy to share. Baby, we were made to live, so let’s live well wearing a lippy that compliments the sentiment exactly, in any shade of course.

Merry almost Christmas and whatever shade you choose to wear, wear it like you mean it and for the sake of you, mean it when you do.

Love,

T